it used to be easier to pretend
just fake a smile
and once is enough
it's constant now
oh i'm so happy so hilarious i've got so many things to say to you add a smiley another one another one another one another one
think of what to say to look happy
cannot care about myself or how i really feel
have to care about you and what you want
have to keep you happy
oh well at least i don't have to lie that i'm fine anymore
cause you don't really care though do you
Friday, May 2, 2014
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
'What does it feel like to have depression?'
'I'm not depressed.'
'But all the things you write... They're depressing.'
'I'm not depressed. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, which I do not act on anymore, I'm sad, but it's not depression. Yes, I can't fall asleep at night and then sleep till midday, but I do get up to do stuff like eat and watch my favorite tv series, and so on... I go to work, sometimes to uni. I feel shit, sometimes I feel like shit. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry, like everyone else. I'm not numb. I'm not ill. I'm just more sad than happy.
'Just need someone else to feel less sad.'